dearsweetsoulful | (no subject)

"Yeah, how did that happen?"

So he can make sure nobody he knows tries it.

(He'd like to think everyone he knows is too smart for that, but if it occurred to Tony . . .)

"He pretended amnesia, but the leading theory is that he made a few friends while he was down there."

"Amnesia," Cal mutters against his cigarette butt with a snort. "Bullshit."

Of course, the only one he'd have to convince would be Tony. Neither Cal nor Sherlock would believe anything he had to say. So why bother with anything plausible?

"And before any of us could decide how to point out the many things wrong with the situation..."

He shrugs.

"Hope he enjoyed his vacation."

Cal drops his cigarette butt, grinding it out a little viciously under his shoe.

"Honestly, I think I did worse to him in two and a half hours than Hell did in most of a year."

Cal answers before he can think about it.

"You're probably more creative."

He laughs.

Cal smirks.

"My dear fellow," he says, meaning it as a compliment, "sometimes you frighten me a little."

Cal's smirk turns a bit wry.

"Yeah, but I'm probably right."

"Well, I doubt they hire for brains down there."

This is so fucked up. But it's better than - any number of things, so he sticks with it.

"Yeah, I don't think demons are really the brainy type."

"You're quite right," he says, softer than he intended. "I could put them all to shame."

Cal takes out another cigarette, just for something to do.

"Good thing you're not on their side, then."

Wryly: "Indeed."

Cal lights his cigarette and holds it in one hand, fiddling with his lighter in the other.

"What kind of spell did they use for the, uh - for that?"

He remembers a note in Sherlock's database, something about a spell to re-ensoul vampires, but with some kind of ridiculous clause and a really rare ingredient. Unstable to the point of uselessness, said the accompanying comment. Or something like that.

Sherlock would want something more reliable for himself.

"Not the bloody useless one in Jarvis's archives. We found something less tenuous. Not suitable for mass production, however—it has to be cast by someone who saw the recipient draw their first breath."

Cal nods. He'll have to bring it up back home. Just in -

- it would be a good addition to the database.

"I'm glad it worked out," he says.

"As am I."

"Sherlock'll be interested in trying to find it back home."

That only feels a little weird to say. You can only talk your way awkwardly around the doubles thing in Milliways so many times before it starts getting old.

"I'd be much obliged if you would tell him. It is considerably more appealing to contemplate than any of the alternatives."

"I definitely will," Cal says. "But we're not -"

He pauses.

"I'll kill Stane myself if I have to."

"Oh, let Sherlock do it. Tony will forgive him faster."

Also, no offense, Cal, but you would make a terrible assassin.

"Well, obviously I wouldn't tell Tony."

Give him some credit.